I always thought that my common sense level was quite high. I still think that I'm smarter than your average bear, however, I am finding that more and more I am asking myself, "Why did you just do that?"
I have been wanting to put things up on the walls of the new house since day one. Shawn has wanted me to wait to do so. Today, I was given the green light. I whipped out my handy dandy hammer and some tacks, and began eye balling where I wanted things to be placed in our room. Since we don't have a stud finder yet, I chose to only hang the light things.
Random Thing Number 1: Hammers were NOT meant to bang on a tack encased in plastic.
I knew this..I guess I just thought that if I "tapped lightly" on the little buggers they would survive. This probably would have been true, had I not managed to somehow find EVERY stud in our room. When my "lightly tapping" proved no match to the wooden plank cleverly disguised in plaster, I tapped harder...and harder...and harder, until the tack began sliding through the wall. No, not sliding, bending sideways. Shattering. Breaking.
"I'm a beast!" I thought to myself. The fact that a tack is a small piece of metal, and I was wielding a heavy piece of iron and wood was NOT going to tell me otherwise.
Tack numbers two and three shattered as soon as I tapped on them. "HULK SMASH!" I said in my best Hulk voice. When you are alone in a new city, you find "special" ways to keep yourself entertained.
Tacks four and five went nicely into the wall, once I discovered how to keep them upright, and in turn, reinforced with my thumb. No, I never hit my thumb or any other finger with the hammer, however, I still have yet to find the other half of the tacks that shattered.
Random Thing Number 2: When you move into a new house, locate your mailbox, and determine whether or not you can send mail out of said box.
I assumed that the rust covered box nailed by the front door was, in fact, our mailbox. I also assumed that I could place any mail that I wanted to send out in this mail box, and a cheerful mail-person would pick up my happy little letter, and send it off to the recipient.
First of all, I'm pretty sure that mail has not touched this rust covered box in years, yet we have gotten mail since we've lived here. As you can guess, I have not been the one to pick up the mail yet. I also have not seen any mail-persons in my neighborhood. With this in mind, I KNOW that the mail is delivered directly to the house...somewhere. I am beginning to think that it just appears.
Random Thing Number 3: When trying to think of the name of a spice, stand in the spice isle looking confused, and describe the spice you are looking for out loud. Inquiries as to what the spice may be will come from all areas of the isle.
I like to make top ramen and spice it up with "a red spice that starts with a C." I had it in my head that the spice I was looking for was called Cumin. Shawn and I went to the local grocery store, stood in the spice isle, and scoured for Cumin. I began telling him, "It's spicy, and red, and I know it starts with a C...I think it's Cumin, but I'm not sure.."
"Cumin is spicy," said random lady number 1, who was also looking for spices.
"Is it red?" I asked.
Before she had a chance to answer, random lady number 2 shouted "Coriander!" from the pasta area of the isle.
"Thyme!" screamed random lady number 3, who was looking at canned goods a good 50feet away from us.
"No, no," said random lady number 1, "She said it starts with a C."
We bought the Cumin.
I went to make my romin. I opened up what I was sure to be my missing spice. It wasn't. Instead, I fumbled through the other spices in our cupboard, pulling out anything else that I thought would satisfy my taste buds.
Out of curiosity, I called my mom to ask her about the mystery spice, and see if she had any thoughts of what it could be that I was looking for.
"It's red, it's spicy, it starts with a C, and you have a huge container of it at home." I said.
"Cyan Pepper?" She replied.
Cyan Pepper. My mystery spice. Not even remotely interchangeable with Cumin.
Recipe for "Poor Kids B.A. Ramen":
Boil half a cup or so of water.
Crack 1 egg into water, and break the egg up a bit
Pour in 1 package of Beef Top Ramen noodles
Add in beef flavoring, liquid smoke, CYAN PEPPER, and onion powder to taste
Let simmer until noodles are desired texture
Commenting on Random Thing #1, keep in mind that if you graduate to actual nails, it would be wise to use something much smaller than a 16 penny nail, lest you find the electrical wires behind the sheetrock. It could be an electrifying experience.
ReplyDeleteGood point, although growing up in California has made me a bit of an eskimo when it comes to the cold. An electric shock may be just the thing to warm me up ;)
ReplyDeleteIt's cayenne, isn't it? My dad grows it himself and puts it in damn near everything. Even spaghetti.
ReplyDeleteBwuahahaha hulk smash. :D That's fucking amusing. Magically appearing mail? From now on if you need to know what spice you're looking for ask me. I use Cayenne alot, that would be the one you were looking for.
ReplyDeleteMy recipe for ramen:
Boil a half a cup or so of water.
Dice up as much tomato, garlic and onion you desire.
Also chop up carrots if you like.
Add basil, Cayenne, curry, and marjoram.
Boil the noodles with the spices and veggies, also add about 1/3rd of the seasoning package that comes with ramen, as it has the bouillon of your choice, but this way it wont be too salty, you can add about half the package if you prefer slightly saltier flavor.
If you're in the mood for a little egg flavoring, when it's still hot in your bowl, crack and egg into it and mix it up. It tastes delicious.
Sometimes, I make a similar recipe, but after it's done, i drain most of the water and instead of adding the package spice, i just add soysauce, make sure to keep some of the water otherwise it'll be ultra salty.
I am not a great speller, and if the word I spell is in existance, but not the word that I mean, ABCcheck doesn't catch it. Bare with me haha
ReplyDeleteIf you like what I'm writting, please click "follow" to the left of the page. I'm trying to keep count of how many readers I have :)